While reading Written on the Body by Jeanette Winterson, I think about how trans culture has changed our thoughts on identity.
“I love you” is always a quotation. You did not say it first and neither did I, yet when you say it and when I say it we speak like savages who have found three words and worship them.
Gender roles, all forms of identity can come off as quotations, repetitions, cliches. It’s the changing up, the variation, that excites us and that makes something pleasant for a person. In “God is Genderqueer” the author H. L. Hix and I discussed how exciting the changing of language can be.
Even in an old relationship, one that has lasted decades, new understandings, new variations can arise.